Postpartum Depression And Me

Giving birth to a baby and become a mother, is a mixed feeling of pain and happiness at the same time . The moment when you take your own creation in your arms, It vanish all your pain, and the long 9 months of  (happy-sad-confusing-struggling) period. But afterward a new journey begins which is called motherhood and this thing remains forever.

Yes Being a mother is not a cakewalk atleast in this modern world where kids are far more curious and carefree and also expect some understanding and liberty from the parents.


After become a mother of a baby boy that too by C-section, I was like somebody has broken up my backbone. I was unable to move and it took me atleast 1 hour to finish up my washroom task. But I was happy and deeply indulge with my baby. I was overprotective for many things and always cross check what things can hurt him, what should I give him to eat, is the diaper need to be changed, his tummy is full or not etc etc. It was like my 24 hours of duty and my husband who started a new business was also unable to help me or you can say he was unaware of my mental condition. That was the time I experienced postpartum depression. I was so dull as I was ignoring my body and beauty both. I was overweight and became insecure too which increased my stress level. I wanted to keep everything perfect which is kind of a dream with a little child. I wanted sometime for myself in which I expect no loo-poops and diaper talks which was actually impossible.

But as we all knows that you and only you can make yourself happy so I give my helping hand to myself to get me out from this frustration and depression kind of world.
I started meeting my old school friends, going out for movies,learn driving ,reading books (romantic rather than kind of mom-toddler), in short I was doing all the work, I liked when I was not a mother. It gave me inner peace and pleasure .I gain myself back and the rewarding thing is that my husband started taking interest in me, which was somewhere lost, as I was also ignoring him not intentionally but due to my management failure.

But this is a lesson for me that I will never ever repeat these things with my second child. That doesn’t mean I  will not be a protective, caring and loving mother this time but it only means that I will not put my well-being on stake, Because if I am not happy, how can I make others happy ,who need me the most.

So mommies, increasing responsibilities doesn’t mean to stop being yourself. Try to manage these things cheerfully. I know this is not very easy because many times you can experience a guilt of leaving your kids to daycare when you are doing something for yourself. But always remember that there is no scale to measure the good or bad in your life. So take your call and do what you want for your kid and ofcourse for yourself. Enjoy motherhood and be a yummy mummy.

Marriage: Completeness or bottleneck??

Marriage, as the name suggest (and we brought up inherited with the values) is the most pure and unbreakable invisible knot, at-least for we Indians. But as I grow up, and able to under this thing much better ,I come to know that there is nothing like pure and unbreakable in more than 80% of our Indian marriage chart. And here I am talking about India which is earlier known for the same.Marriage here was JANAM JANMANTAR or 7 JANAM KA BANDHAN.

What if a girl don't want to live with the boy or vice versa. Do they always need to adjust or the girl always should be independent or working to take her own responsibility. And the top of that why she is answerable to others for her own life.I mean these things are not at all acceptable to my brain at-least. Education is not always to,get a good job only but it teaches us how to carry our life and what is good or bad in our own point of view. Nobody is GYAANI here in this world who can make norms for the society not even the saints whom we think have the best knowledge of world,life and death. For me its all about you,what you want with your life and what you want to do for your self-respect.
Compromise, yet another term used  by the flock of old age aunties who thinks that this is only a thing which makes a marriage successful. But in actual if you are happy while compromising in many things(which is barely possible) that means you are not living for yourself but your main agenda is to carry this thing to an end. But what is the actual end for you all??? To die after so much fights, arguments and disinterest??

We all are born for a reason and not to please everyone at least if we are not happy from inside. I strongly believe that we can only make others happy, if only we are happy so do whatever you like the most because marriage doesn’t mean to change yourself or your views ,as per your partner, but to provide them too some knowledge, so that ultimately the whole world can change.

I have met many boys in my 27 years of life and I realized the fact that after getting so much of education and qualifications they have, still 80% of them are mamma’s   boy and can’t accept what their wives are saying. Rather being supportive towards their wives, who are also adjusting in(most of the time not so cool)a opposite environment as they experienced in their own home, men only consider what their mothers are saying because this is I feel,inserted in their body by the time of nursing them by their mommies. In our country 70% of divorce happens because of continuous interference of in-laws, whether it is of bride’s or Groom’s. Yes you read correct; in many cases girl’s parents also play the role of a marriage destroyer because of their continuous unwanted advices to their daughters. Our elders always said that stop chasing the western culture but in my views, accept what is right whether it is about culture or mentality. Think broad. My advice to this generation couples is, live happily and chase your dreams. Also life partner means, now you have somebody else too, who can help you to fulfill your dreams and not that conservative one who ruined your career or life goals. Then only marriage will not be a JABARDASTI KA BANDHAN kind of thing.

Rest 30% of divorce happens due to extra marital affairs. Have a look on this point too. Why people bound to opt for extra marital affair. These days the rate is increased in women also. After reading this people may think that I am a feminist but seriously what thing force her to put the marriage on stake, I have the answer for this too. Sex is the main reason and requirement. Some are so adjusting with whatever they have and do not demand and cross question because of so many reasons like upbringing, or may be because people thinks that girl should not ask for sex first because it defines her bad character in front of her husband but some seriously need to fulfill their body’s requirement and if it is not fulfilled by the male of the house, they bound to search for some other options. I know it is not cool for many but we should understand that it can drag her to an enormous depression sooner or later . Yes women also want good sex and she is not only a toy kind of thing with whom one can play. she also has some likes or dislikes on bed and if she is not enjoying that ,it means one day she will definitely move on.  Education make her bold enough to take a step and raise a voice for herself. There  should be a proper understanding from both the parties otherwise things can go horribly wrong at any point of time. So all, please try to  understand your  spouse and give them some space so that a girl can think beyond roti sabji households and boy too can think beyond earning only bread butter. Life is much more than all these things so enjoy before its too late to regret. Spread love and peace because the world  and people need it the most.